But I really do not think I can have kids. There are a few reasons. The first is that I feel like I am destined for something greater than children. I have a higher calling in my life. No I am not going to become a man of the cloth, I think I have been charged by the universe to kill my bloodline. We are all put on earth for a purpose, and in one way or another that purpose is tied to the human race. We are bigger than just ourselves, and whatever we do, should be for the betterment of humankind. This is why I am not going to procreate. I have seen the extent of my family line, and I believe it needs to end. I am not speaking ill of any of my direct family, but my extended family is another matter. I know that I am a good person, but my seed holds those potential genes in them. I cannot risk putting more demons on the planet.
The other reason i can't have kids is because I believe in Karma. Now, I do not believe in the cosmic portion of reincarnation, where in our next lives will reflect how we act in this one. But I do believe the old adage of 'you reap what you sow." And if that is in any way true, I am screwed. Here is why.
When I was about 8 or 9 years old, a kid in my 3rd grade class told me about this funny 1-800 phone number you could call where a lady would say funny things to you. She said "sexy" on the phone. I thought this was damn near the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life. I laughed so many times when I called this number. I started showing it to my friends. We would huddle around the phone and laugh and laugh whenever we called this number. We did it every chance we could. After school, sleepovers, it was my new favorite thing to show my friends. I was super funny and super popular because of this 1-800 number. We got caught a few times, but none of the parents ever hit re-dial to find out what we were doing. (That just seems like bad parenting on their parts, but who am I to judge)
So i started doing this alone in my house, and I used to let the recording go further and further. Eventually it hit a point where the silly lady said that if I was interested in more "fun" that I should call 1-900-288-DUCK. Whats interesting, looking back on this story now, is that the D and the F are both on the number 3 on the phone. So she might not have been saying duck...we will never know. Anywho, with the enticing of more "fun" I eagerly started to call this new phone number. (Seriously, an 8 year old kid hears the word "fun" of course he is going to call.) I started talking to silly ladies directly. Some of them instantly recognized that I was wayyyyy to young to be calling that phone number, but some of them talked to me. It was weird and exciting, and I was addicted.
Fast forward about two weeks. (some of you see where this is going) My parents started to sound like they were arguing a lot over a piece of paper. I had no idea what was wrong until one day they confronted me about this "phone bill" as I walked in from school one afternoon. This phone bill. This $435 phone bill. I had called this number over 20 times in 3 weeks. It is lucky that my parents could convince the phone company that it was their 8 y/o son that called this number. I suppose it did look strange that a number with no known history suddenly called dirty phone lines 5 times a day for 3 weeks.
...karma. not even gonna risk it.
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