A few months ago I made a decision that I was going to be in the best shape of my life by my 28th birthday. In order to do this I decided to train for and run a half marathon. For some reason I didn't think of how much running that would actually involve. (stupid on me, right?) In order to properly train for the aforementioned race event (which from here on shall be referred to as a "half") you are required to run an increasing amount of miles each week. You run a few easy runs during the week and one long run towards the end of the week. My next run is going to be 10 miles.
(I took a break from writing this and have now in fact run 10 miles in one go...I currently do not have legs that work.My knees are dust, and my ankles look like a pregnant woman on a high sodium diet.)
When you are running that long, you have to pace yourself to make the distance. It ends up being close to two hours. You have plenty of time to think while you are running for two hours. Two hours. That is four sitcoms or 2 dramas on TV. Including commercials. Because really those shows are only about 23 minutes, or 47 minutes. Respectively. Which is stupid because you are taking away valuable time from unpacking story structure in really good television shows just so you can advertise something stupid like Bass Pro Shop or mail order catheters. However, I digress.
I think that people that run a lot of half marathons or any sort of distance race are incredibly self serving. Not selfish. But self serving. There is no good reason for anyone to run this sort of distance. It is actually not good for you. There have been countless scientific studies showing how bad running is on your joints and other parts of your body. But for some reason, we have something to prove to ourselves. We run because we think someone along the line will care. Maybe be amazed and impressed. But who is, in the end really? And why is running a long distance the thing that people feel like doing? Why not do something less harmful to your body such as learning the piano, or writing a novel, or seeing how many double stuff Oreos you can eat before you throw up? My record is 11. Number 12 made me puke. It was funny. It was all Oreo. Be impressed
It is fun to do with a friend, I think that is the only way you can make it through. To share these miserable experiences with someone. Someone to compare nasty runner's feet with. (I took my sock off after my 10 miler and it was caked in blood from one of my toes that is now a nub.) It feels better to laugh about your chaffed nipples with someone else, than it is to sit there and let them bleed in solemn silence. (I wish that wasn't true, but it is. It is pretty much one of the worst pains I have ever experienced. After breaking my leg, or getting hit in the balls by a frisbee)
But on a personal level, there is something amazing about constantly running for a length of miles that is double digits. 10 miles. I would only have to do that 22,890 more times and i will have run to the moon. I know right? Wild. The space suit would probably slow me down. But I would be the first man to run to the moon. How bout them apples, Felix Baumgartner?
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