The Holiday's or Pre-Gaming Family Time

The Holiday's or Pre-Gaming Family Time

     It's the Holidays! Well according to wal-mart, target (the upper class wal-mart), and magic mart (you get the idea) it has almost been Christmas time since a few days before Halloween, but I think a week after Thanksgiving is an appropriate time to call everything "the Holidays".This is the time of year when we wake up on Thanksgiving, make your self a hot cup of coffee in the brisk morning air by the light of the Keurig, and then be bored for 7 hours while you grandmother forces you to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade, and then the Westminster Dog Show that inevitably comes on after it. This is the time of year when we can all gather together as a culture and beat the hell out of one another for Samsung Galaxies at a Best Buy at 7 in the morning on the day after thanksgiving. The time when parking spots at a crowded mall become enough of a reason for either a couple to get divorced over an argument, or for a "justifiable homicide"by two people truly in the American Christmas Spirit.

     It seems like we are almost at a point in our culture where we need to attach that label onto the beginning of Christmas. Call it American Christmas. It should be a celebration every time a person puts three generations of his family into debt just because he can't say no to his kids wish for an iPad 3. I would love to see a study as to why we are like this. What drives people as a collective to do these things that everyone complains about? (The irony of that sentence is not lost on me) People will complain about the materialism of Christmas while they are in line at the Mall.

"I can't believe it is like this. The only thing people care about is material possessions. Oh yes, I will take out a second mortgage just so my slutty sixteen year old daughter can have a new car that she can wreck in 6 months because she is a terrible driver. What? No...these are tears of joy. I just love my little rascals.I believe everything the Mercedes commercials tell me..."

    It's like the holidays were created around this idea that it wants the culture to force itself into a state of self loathing so deep that it takes exactly enough time to get out of it that it is time to buy things again. We force ourselves into fake family happiness just because we are trying to hold on to some shred that we aren't all terribly alone this time of year.

     But why do this? Why do we force ourselves in binge drinking egg nog just so we can put up with some pervy uncle that get's high and then tries to hit on your brother's wife? I say life is too short. We really don't have enough time to worry about holding on to broken relationships that everyone feels some sort of moral guilt for abandoning. When you are lying on your death bed are you going to be happy that you tolerated your Aunt's insanity just because it made you feel more like a family for 2 weeks out of the year? Or are you going to wish you finally called the federal agents on your Uncle for 25 year's of tax fraud that he is hiding from in Costa Rica?

     Take this time to find out who you really love and then spend time with them. Because in the end that is all we have, and that is what this time of year is about.

Hallelujah, holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?