Selling Myself or The Art of Job Interviews

Selling Myself or The Art of Job Interviews

Since moving to Raleigh I have been shotgunning out Resumes and wearing my one suit multiple times a week for job interviews. It has been about two months with no such luck for employment. I am trying to stay positive because I am not under-qualified for any job I have gone for, the economy is just that bad. (Or so I tell myself...that Masters in Theology I received really isn't holding much water when it comes to normal office and administrative type jobs)

Anywho, I have come to realize that there is an art to job interviews that I am not really very good at. I tend to have sort of a inability to exaggerate my abilities and skills to make myself seem interesting to employers. The questions are always generally the same, just with different focuses and connotations Everyone generally wants to know if you will be a valuable asset to the company in order to help them grow their customer basis. People who are good at interview processes can convince the interviewer that they are hoping to be hired for this very reason. They have blind ambition in order to help these companies and employers.

I am not that way. It is not that I would be a bad employee at all, I just don't have this ability to convey these things during interviews very well without sounding like I am totally full of crap. If I care about the work I am doing I will give 100% to the cause. Again...not good at interviews. Here is how the average job interview I go on sounds like.

Interviewer: Why do you feel like you will be a good asset for this company?

Me: Well I care about the atmosphere and service that your company provides.

Interviewer: What are some of your strengths?

Me: I am able to multi-task and have great interpersonal skills that would benefit the service your company provides.

Interviewer: What are some of your weaknesses?

Me: I tend to be distracted when processing a lot of information and perhaps take longer than I should when completing certain tasks (almost in tears) that your...company....provides....

I tend to flop sweat about half way through the interview and worry about choking to death on my tongue for some reason.

I wish that could be way way way more honest. Probably go something like this.

Interviewer: Why do you feel like you would be a good asset for this company?

Me: Well you pay a fairly good deal of money for work that doesn't seem that difficult. You're office isn't that far from my house so i won't be late more than once or twice a month. So, you know, I'll do the work.

Interviewer: What are some of your strengths?

Me: I am funny and nice to be around. Some people call me handsome so I guess that could be a benefit if you need someone to greet people. I can bench press my body weight. I have an appreciation for fine whiskey and tequila.

Interviewer: What are some of your weaknesses?

Me: Well i have a crippling fear of failure and I have to pee a lot.

Interviewer: (Almost in tears) you're hired you magnificent bastard.


Ok, so here is to the next interview. I got this. Right?